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Lalayet Pancha Varshani (How to Raise a Child)

लालयेत् पञ्च वर्षाणि

🕉️ hindu·📿 3× repetitions·🕐 Morning reflection, or while contemplating one's role as a parent or teacher·📜 Chanakya Niti

Also known as: lalayet pancha varshani · lalayet pancha varshani dasha varshani tadayet · putram mitravadacharet · chanakya parenting shloka · how to raise a child chanakya

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Meaning

This famous parenting verse from Chanakya Niti prescribes three stages in raising a child: five years of loving indulgence, ten years of firm discipline and training, and from the sixteenth year onward, the respect and openness due to a friend. It remains one of the most quoted maxims on child-rearing, balancing tenderness, guidance and trust as a child matures.

Origin & Story

Chanakya Niti · Chanakya (Vishnugupta / Kautilya) · Ancient India (c. 4th–3rd century BCE)

Chanakya, who himself trained the young Chandragupta into an emperor, gave deep thought to the shaping of the young. This verse on child-rearing distils that experience into three stages — indulgence, discipline and friendship — and has become one of the most widely quoted guides to parenting in the Indian tradition.

As told in scripture

Generations of parents have credited this single verse with rescuing their households from extremes, for the one who indulges only the small child, trains firmly through the growing years, and befriends the grown one raises a child who is both well-disciplined and devoted.

The Mantra

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लालयेत् पञ्च वर्षाणि दश वर्षाणि ताडयेत्। प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रं मित्रवदाचरेत्॥

lālayet pañca varṣāṇi daśa varṣāṇi tāḍayet। prāpte tu ṣoḍaśe varṣe putraṁ mitravad ācaret॥

Meaning:For the first five years treat a child with loving indulgence; for the next ten years guide and discipline him firmly; but once he has reached his sixteenth year, treat him as a friend. Chanakya offers a timeless model of upbringing, matching affection, discipline and friendship to the changing stages of a child's growth.

Word-by-Word Meaning

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लालयेत्🔊lālayetone should fondle, pamper, lovingly indulge
पञ्च वर्षाणि🔊pañca varṣāṇifor five years
दश वर्षाणि🔊daśa varṣāṇifor ten years (the next ten years)
ताडयेत्🔊tāḍayetone should discipline, correct, chastise (guide firmly)
प्राप्ते🔊prāptewhen (the child) has reached / attained
तु🔊tubut, and (a connective)
षोडशे वर्षे🔊ṣoḍaśe varṣein the sixteenth year
पुत्रम्🔊putramthe son (the child, offspring)
मित्रवत्🔊mitravatlike a friend, as one would a friend
आचरेत्🔊ācaretone should behave, treat, conduct oneself

Benefits of Chanting Lalayet Pancha Varshani (How to Raise a Child)

Offers a balanced, time-tested framework for raising children

Matches affection, discipline and friendship to a child's age

Guides parents to adapt their role as the child matures

Encourages firm training in the formative years

Teaches respect and friendship toward grown children

A concise, memorable maxim cherished by parents and teachers

How to Chant Lalayet Pancha Varshani (How to Raise a Child)

Repetitions3times
Best TimeMorning reflection, or while contemplating one's role as a parent or teacher

Recite the verse slowly and reflect on its three stages — five years of loving care, ten years of firm guidance, and friendship from the sixteenth year. Consider how a parent's role must change as a child grows. It is traditionally studied among Chanakya's teachings on family and upbringing.

Frequently Asked Questions

It is a famous verse from the Chanakya Niti (Niti Darpana), the body of aphorisms attributed to Chanakya (Kautilya / Vishnugupta), the ancient Indian teacher of ethics, statecraft and the conduct of life.
For the first five years the child is treated with loving indulgence (lalayet); for the next ten years (up to about sixteen) the child is firmly disciplined and trained (tadayet); and from the sixteenth year onward the child is to be treated as a friend (mitravat).
In its traditional sense tadayet means to discipline, correct and train with firmness during the formative years, not to harm. The verse's spirit is about firm guidance and structure in the middle stage, balanced by tenderness before it and friendship after.

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